Books by Cynthia Alison Fortlage
Cynthia’s books explore leadership, identity, acceptance, power, belonging and what it means to live with complexity.
Cynthia Alison Fortlage writes and speaks professionally as Cynthia Fortlage.
Acceptance without Understanding™
What if understanding was never supposed to come first?
We are often taught that acceptance follows understanding. That before we can accept another person, a difficult reality or something that has happened to us, we first need to understand why.
Acceptance without Understanding™ begins somewhere else.
Cynthia Fortlage explores what becomes possible when acceptance comes first, across leadership, relationships, identity, loss, change and the parts of life that may never provide us with a satisfying explanation.
Published 3 November 2026
The Things I Wish Mothers Would Teach Their Sons About Women
What do women wish boys had been taught before they became men?
Many men genuinely want to respect and support women, yet have never been taught about the realities women navigate or how male privilege shapes everyday interactions, relationships and workplaces.
Drawing on her distinctive lived experience, Cynthia Alison Fortlage brings together what she learnt from spending the first 50 years of her life perceived and socialised as male, and what she came to understand after transitioning and living as a lesbian woman with a trans+ history. She combines personal reflection, social insight and practical guidance to make often unspoken aspects of women’s lives easier to understand and discuss.
Across 22 accessible chapters, Cynthia explores women’s safety, periods, emotions, consent, gender roles, sexism and misogyny, power and privilege, relationships, leadership, intersectionality, body image, mental health, allyship and advocacy.
This is not a book about blaming men or suggesting that every woman has the same experience. It is an invitation to listen more closely, question what we have been taught and recognise the everyday choices through which respect and equality become real.
Written for sons and men, as well as mothers, fathers, carers, educators and leaders, The Things I Wish Mothers Would Teach Their Sons About Women offers a thoughtful starting point for conversations that too often begin only after harm has already occurred.
It is a guide to helping boys become the kind of men women can trust, work alongside and feel safe around. It also encourages men of every age to continue becoming better partners, colleagues, friends and allies.
Mother's Advice
Some advice stays with us for a lifetime.
Sometimes we understand it immediately. Sometimes it takes years. And sometimes we don't truly appreciate it until we find ourselves passing it on to someone else.
Mother's Advice is a collection of thirty-one fictional stories inspired by real pieces of motherly advice shared across generations. Each story imagines the life experiences, relationships and quiet moments that gave rise to a simple piece of wisdom—wisdom offered by mothers, grandmothers, mentors and the people who have cared for us along life's journey.
Warm, thoughtful and often uplifting, these stories explore love, resilience, identity, belonging and the everyday moments that shape who we become.
They invite readers to pause, reflect and perhaps remember the advice that has stayed with them throughout their own lives.
The stories are fictional.
The advice is real.
Originally conceived as the early idea for a stage play, Mother's Advice evolved into this collection of stories celebrating the conversations, lessons and acts of care that connect us across generations.
Case Study: Working Through the Draft EHRC Code
It is a practical, non-legal book for organisations reviewing participation language after the draft EHRC Code. Written for women-centred communities, associations, services, networks, events and programmes, it helps readers slow down, ask better questions, and think more clearly about who is centred, who is included, and how language shapes dignity, clarity, risk and belonging. It is a thinking tool, not legal advice.
The Things they told us
Things They Told Us examines the myths women inherit, the behavioural rules those myths create and the price women pay for living within them.
Drawing upon more than three decades of leadership, advocacy, international experience and lived experience, Cynthia Alison Fortlage explores how gendered messages move through families, workplaces, institutions and generations until learned behaviour begins to feel natural.
Written for women and for anyone seeking to become a more conscious ally, parent, educator or leader, this book invites readers to recognise what has been hidden in plain sight, question what they have inherited and decide what they will pass on.
Other Writing in Development
Alongside the manuscripts presented here, Cynthia Alison Fortlage is developing a number of additional book projects exploring leadership, gender, culture, and the complex ways individuals navigate identity and belonging in modern society.
These concepts build on the themes present throughout her speaking and essays, ranging from reflections on women’s non-linear leadership journeys and the social narratives shaping relationships between men and women, to broader cultural commentary examining power, institutional systems, and the assumptions that quietly structure modern life. Several projects engage directly with the tensions of our current moment—polarisation, inequality, shifting generational expectations, and the search for more humane ways of organising our workplaces, communities, and societies.
Several of these works are currently in early development, with full proposals and manuscripts available for discussion with literary agents and publishing partners.
Articles Behind the Books:
by Cynthia Fortlage
Why I Mentor: It’s Not About Me
Mentorship is often described as advice or guidance, but at its heart it is something quieter and more human. In this reflection, Cynthia writes about the joy of walking alongside others as they shape their own journeys, and why mentoring remains one of the most meaningful parts of her leadership life.
What is Acceptance Without Understanding™?
In a world that often demands explanation before respect, Acceptance Without Understanding™ offers a different approach. In this essay, Cynthia introduces the philosophy that belonging begins with dignity and that acceptance can be chosen even when understanding is still unfolding.
The Lessons Boys Were Never Taught About Girls
Women grow up hearing countless quiet instructions about how to navigate the world. But boys are rarely taught the parallel lessons about women’s lived experiences. In this essay, Cynthia reflects on the cultural messages girls receive and explores what might change if we began teaching boys the empathy, awareness, and understanding that healthier relationships require.
Two Ears, One Mouth: My Mother’s Advice Was Right
Some of the most important lessons in life arrive in the form of simple advice. In this reflection, Cynthia revisits a piece of wisdom from her mother and explores how the practice of deep listening can build empathy, strengthen allyship, and transform the way leaders show up for others.
Cynthia also publishes essays exploring these ideas on Substack.