The Hidden Queer in All of Us
In a continuing series of acceptance articles with a Pride theme, today we talk about accepting the hidden queer in all of us.
As I have said in previous articles, I have chosen to reclaim the word queer and own it. That is not the case for some folks who have experienced the name queer as a slur and term of hurt. Before using the word to describe someone, ask them how they describe themselves and respect the words they use.
If you identify as Two-Spirited, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or within the Transgender umbrella term, then you may already be aware of your inner queerness. Regardless of what Rainbow letter aligns with your identity, I suspect you are already in touch with your inner queerness.
What of those folks that identify as “Straight,” regardless of whatever that means these days? What of their inner queerness?
Plainly guys who fantasize seeing two women being sexual with each other are showing their inner queerness, what a beautiful thing to have two consenting adult women show each other passion and love.
Did you secretly enjoy the 50 Shades books or movies, regardless of how poorly written they are, enough of us read them to make them bestsellers? Nothing wrong with consenting adults engaging in a little play, a tie, a pair of handcuffs, or something more can be fun.
Do you experiment with toys, even on your own, use them in new and unique ways that please you? What a fantastic way to find new ways to pleasure yourself.
Have you been part of a multi-person consenting sexual encounter? How fun to have more than one partner to explore new techniques and ways to pleasure each other.
Do you like to switch roles from being the dominant one to being dominated in the bedroom? What an exciting way to experience sex form all points of view.
How excited did you get with that Halloween costume that you cross-dressed even for just that night? Regardless of which way it went acknowledging the enjoyment of something that may be taboo to you usually can be thrilling also if only for an evening and Halloween is a great time to experiment.
Do you see beauty and attractiveness in more than one gender, maybe even everyone? There are so many diverse people with fascinating aspects that finding each person special something can be fun and thrilling.
What about those naughty dreams, maybe even wet dreams? What do you think about and perhaps never say out loud, but they excite you regardless?
Maybe it’s the type of clothing that’s your queerness. Latex, PVC, rubber, leather, furry, costumes, pantyhose, bodysuits, to name but a few. No matter what it is, they can be exciting outlets.
Not every queerness is about sex and having an orgasm. Those who are in love with being in love or cherishing the closeness of another without the desire to be sexual. These romantic folks are also part of this beautiful queerness we all share.
I could keep going, but you get the idea. Learning to accept ourselves, all of ourselves, is a great thing. It means you’re ok and being queer is normal as we all have aspects that can fit into the broad definition of what is queerness.
I will acknowledge that I am limited to my experiences and awareness, but there are some illegal and hurtful aspects as well. While they may be part of this internal queerness, they are also outside the limits of consenting adult experiences. If the participants are not consenting adults, then it’s a hard NO.
Learning to accept ourselves also means learning to accept our queerness!
Know you are not alone, embrace your queerness as you embrace accepting yourself.
Con Amor Y Abrazos de Colombia