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Writer's pictureCynthia Fortlage

Moving Forward: How to Deal with Haters and Find True Acceptance

Updated: Oct 24



The idea of acceptance without understanding, especially when dealing with those who disagree with you, is profound and nuanced. It's crucial to remember that acceptance does not equate to agreement or mere tolerance. Tolerance often implies begrudgingly putting up with something, which carries a negative connotation. Acceptance, on the other hand, involves acknowledging and respecting differences, even when understanding is lacking.


When contemplating the journey of acceptance, it's essential to recognise that not everyone is ready to embrace it. This readiness for acceptance is a multi-stage process:


  • Preparation for Acceptance: Before expecting acceptance from others, you must prepare yourself. This involves self-reflection and a commitment to the path ahead.


  • Self-Acceptance: The next step is accepting yourself, which requires deep, introspective work. This stage is about embracing your identity and experiences without needing external validation.


  • Acceptance from a Close Circle: Once you’ve accepted yourself, you seek acceptance from your immediate circle—friends, supporters, and allies. This group provides the foundation of support as you navigate broader societal acceptance.


  • Societal Acceptance: This stage involves seeking acceptance from the larger community. Here, you encounter varied responses, and it’s crucial to understand that not everyone will be ready to accept you.


  • Realise Life’s True Purpose: The final step is recognising and embracing your life's true purpose. This stage is about living authentically and fully, guided by your values and passions, regardless of societal acceptance.


At this societal level, it becomes apparent that not everyone can join you on your journey. This is where the analogy of living your life like a clock comes into play. A clock knows it has history, but it cannot go backwards. Similarly, you must keep progressing, regardless of whether others are ready to move forward.


Family, friends, or even society might resist moving forward due to their own unprocessed work and unwillingness to engage in the journey of acceptance. Your responsibility is not to wait for them but to continue advancing. They must decide to do their work and adjust their readiness for acceptance. If they remain stuck, that is their challenge, not yours.


The concept of acceptance without understanding particularly resonates when dealing with dissenters or "haters." Assess whether these individuals are ready for acceptance. If they aren't, investing your time and energy in trying to change their minds may be futile. It’s okay if they never understand, but their readiness for acceptance is a prerequisite for any meaningful progress in the relationship.


In summary, acceptance without understanding emphasises that acceptance is a personal journey. Not everyone is prepared to join you, and that’s their journey. Your role is to keep moving forward, like a clock, staying open to those who eventually choose to catch up but not waiting for those who may never be ready.

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