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  • Cynthia Fortlage

6 Circles of Acceptance


Acceptance happens in 6 circles, each of them can present challenges of difficulty as you find your authentic self, This is how it has manifested for me. You may have some of the same or possibly different layers and not all of them are necessarily difficult, Only you know that for sure!


Here are the 6 Circles I have encountered:


  1. Self

  2. Family of Origin - or birth family

  3. Marital Family or Common Law

  4. Work / Career / Industry

  5. Friends / Religion / Spititual

  6. Society at large


In simple terms here's how the layers relate and the importance of each in a journey of acceptance.


Self:

Connection:

We are the centre of our own universe so we must be connected to our self first


Importance:

Within us is our heart, it is no surprise that when we think of love we think of the heart. Love is the connected energy that flows through everything and within us it begins to define our connectedness to ourselves.


Focus:

If we can not connect to ourself we may not feel enough and therefore we are not enough for anyone else. Connecting to yourself is critical in finding your authentic self as it begins within you.



Family of Origin:

Connection:

You are of course part of a family at birth, our journeys differ from there as to what our families look like and the experiences we have.


Importance:

After you enter this world it is a unique experience we each have as to encountering love or a lack thereof. Finding our authentic selves challenges those who are supposed to be closest to us in accepting us. This is the first external group that puts beliefs and values upon us that we need to re-examine each of those beliefs and values to see if you still agree on the journey to find your authentic self.


Focus:

If we can not accept ourselves that energy or lack thereof may disrupt that connection to our birth families.



Marital Family:

Connection:

This is the first family that you get a say in selecting for most of us. Having the power to select that connection can bond you, not for life but for now. While society sets an expectation of forever, what we have is here and now, I wish you many here and nows but that doesn't bind you to a false expectation of forever.


Importance:

Having the power to select your family and give love is a beautiful thing. That is not everyone's experience, nor is it reciprocated in receiving love the same for everyone. Knowing what you will accept and what acceptance means for you allows you to go forward in a manner where you do not acquiesce your life. This is another external group that puts beliefs and values upon us that we need to re-examine those beliefs and values to see if you still agree on the journey to find your authentic self.


Focus:

If we can not accept ourselves and we struggle with acceptance from our family of origin that energy or lack thereof may disrupt that connection with our marital families.



Work:

Connection:

This is a group we connect with by choice. What many people miss is that it is not only an employer who. chooses us, but we also have a choice in choosing to agree to be with an employer. While this arrangement is by choice the path to get here for some may not be authentic. In my case, as it may be in yours, I was good with computers at an early age so the assumption was I would work in the technology field was a given. As I wasn't authentic I made a choice to follow that expectation put upon me, not by choice, but out of duty and being the person others wanted me to be.


Importance:

This is for many the first time they get to see value from what they know and what they can do. These self-affirming behaviours are critical to move away from external affirmations and start building our own internal support system. If your not authentic you don't build systems you adopt or replicate and because they are not from you they are still externally driven affirmations which means you never learn that lesson to affirm yourself and establish an authentic sense of self, self-worth, as well as develop the skills necessary to be at ease on your own and in your own skin during the development of these critical skills. The good news is you can create them at any time you are ready to accept yourself and go on a journey of acceptance.


Focus:

As we create affinity circles of relationships in our life developing a professional circle of affinity is critical. As we develop our acceptance of self, and we are supported by both birth and marital families it strengthens our acceptance of ourselves in ways that determine the financial value for the knowledge, skills, and abilities we bring to an employer.



Friends:

Connection:

At the top of the article, I included religious and spiritual communities into this space. The friends we make, the groups we belong to all have one thing in common. There is something specific that brings us together. This affinity of each group we make a connection with based upon a common thread. If we are not authentic that thread will also not be authentic. Realizing that the circles around you are inauthentic can be very disorienting and getting it right is a critical piece to moving forward.


Importance:

For many, you hear about the "best" friend or "BFF" and so on. You never hear about the best spouse in a marital family nor do we refer to the best parents forever, they are simply that role in those relationships. For others where there is a break down in the relationships with types of families, we find a chosen family in this group. The difference is critical perhaps even life-saving when your authenticity is part of the breakdown in either of the aforementioned families that this group becomes your chosen family who accepts you for your authentic self, not your perfect self, and a work in progress self.


Focus:

We may have all heard the old saying that "friends make the world go round!" As eluded to in the previous piece these connections based upon acceptance can be life-saving when the traditional supports offered by families fail to accept. Knowing you can grow into your authentic self with the acceptance of circles of friends and groups you share that affinity with is your largest support system out of the previous circles because it is the necessary support to enter the next and final phase.



Society:

Connection:

This is the rest of us if we are not part of the previous circles. We are all part of this circle for everyone. You are always part of everyone else's lives, if not directly then indirectly by being part of society.


Importance:

Society sets what is called societal norms and if your authentic self falls outside that for any reason then feeling like you belong and challenging every part of your existence is difficult, even fatal. Being part of societies that accept or are learning accept needs leadership. We are all leaders in life, even if just the CEO of your life. Regardless of where you fit within these circles living acceptance as a way to treat others is critical and the most authentic way you exist with everyone else.


Focus:

This is for many the ultimate acceptance, or for those who become even more enlightened they get to a point where personal acceptance combined with other circles of acceptance means that what society does or doesn't accept does not directly impact them and they have learned. to ignore it in order. to be their authentic self.



 

Genesis Pattern:

The image chosen for this article was done so as it matched the concept that I was writing about and have shared with you. It is only now that the universe has made me. aware that this was a message sent through me and I share this insight of acceptance.


The image is of The Flower of Life is one of the basic sacred geometry shapes. The Flower of Life symbolizes creation and reminds us of the unity of everything: we're all built from the same blueprint.



 

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